MEDITATION | GETTING STARTED + HONING YOUR SIT (rhymes with: OWNING YOUR SHIT)
WHAT’S GOOD | 17 Jan 2022 | WILD SAGE YOGA | ROOT. GROW. THRIVE
What’s so f*#@ing great about meditation? F*#@ing everything! #notanexaggeration
OUR LIVES ARE CRAZY BUSY and full of a million reasons not to meditate. I gravitate towards those reasons all the time, even if in unconscious defiance—that is, by not thinking about it at all. When I do think about it, most of the time, I would like to convince myself that I simply DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR IT. Which is, generally, the exact tell-tale sign that I need it most: If I can’t get off the hamster wheel, pull away from my (of course, very important) work, daily life, and activities to take a few minutes of time to sit down, rest my body, breathe, and clear my mind for mere minutes a day, it is likely I am stuck in a chaotic web of my own creation (if not pandemic-level crises and life circumstances).
And yet, in any given reality, I know the reasons for "sitting" down in meditation far outweigh any excuse I can come up with not to do it. It’s one of those things that we don’t have to believe, but it's true. And I do happen to believe it. Thousands of years of practice and today’s science is clear: A daily meditation practice has tangible transformative effects upon our mental and physical well-being — less anxiety, lower blood pressure, more focus, more productivity, better sleep, better relationships …. Name something, anything, you want to improve or make better about your mental or physical reality and, guaranteed, having meditation in your wellness toolkit will work to support that goal, and likely reap additional benefits you didn’t even anticipate.
Like any form of self-strengthening commitment, you get out of it what you put into it. Any amount of time you dedicate to meditation will provide exponentially greater returns, both seen and unseen, immediate and long lasting. For me, the more life I live and the more life I want to live, I realize that if given the choice and tools to lessen my human suffering and increase my human capacity, I want to choose to do that, yes, please, and thank you very much. Especially in the midst of the world we are navigating right now.
Though I’ve dabbled in 20-minute, 1-hour, and daylong sits, I’ve always been an advocate for meditation in whatever form we can access it in the context of our daily lives — 3-breath meditation, 1-breath meditation, laughing meditation, walking meditation. Anything we can do to consciously stop, ground, and clear is good for our minds and bodies. I also very much consider my daily yoga practice a meditative practice, so I often let myself get away with thinking I’ve meditated if I’ve done yoga. And this is largely how I’ve approached meditation for 20-plus years — as long as I take a conscious breath or three every day, I consider it a win. Which it most certainly is.
But after many consistent and persistent reminders (from teachers, therapists, practitioners) that 20 minutes a day of dedicated meditation practice will positively take my life and health to the next level and facilitate great personal change, I have finally dedicated myself to it: Twenty minutes a day, in a quiet(ish) place, sitting, belly breathing, working to clear the mind, feel the feels, and just be. Why not? Let’s see if it really lives up to the hype — or if I do. Let’s be clear that it’s not easy. At its root, it is a truth-finding mission, and when we touch into the truth of ourselves, it might get uncomfortable, it might piss us off, but, as they say, it will ultimately set us free.
So far, I’m almost 2 weeks in and feeling pretty good. I might be giving fewer fucks or at least fewer fucks about all the fucks. I feel a bit more present. A bit more open. A bit more clear seeing. A bit more motivated. I mean, look at all the effort and time I’ve put into this long-ass blog post no one will read!? (I know what you're thinking: Beesh, why didn't you just make a TikTok video?! Check back later for my piece on why reading something longer than a tweet or social media post is the best meditation practice of our times. Snap.)
In the spirit of my endeavors and the potential of yours, I humbly offer a few basics below about SITTING and BREATHING that I’m continually practicing and learning myself, and might also help you access your own attempts. I’ve also shared a short, themed meditation — “Cleaning House” — for you to practice with, if you so wish.
OM SHANTI. Get at it! Come home to yourself + claim your peace.
BEFORE YOU MEDITATE | Maximize Physical Comfort, Minimize Distraction
Create a comfortable space in which to sit.
Put on something comfy and suitable for your environment.
Turn off Zoom, tell Alexa to take a nap, give your dog a bone, go pee.
Put your phone on Do Not Disturb.
Set an alarm for the desired amount of time, with a gentle alarm tone. (I personally do not like to be awakened from my attempt at serenity with the staccato of Radar or a twin bell alarm.)
SITTING | Finding a Comfortable Seat for Meditation
Find yourself a supportive seated position that your body can commit to for 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes — it might be different every time, depending upon the context and extent of your sit. The key word here is comfortable. Meditation doesn’t have to be in a cross-legged lotus position. If that is a torturous position for you, you can choose a chair, a cushion (zafu), the couch, a folded blanket, a block, a bolster, lying on the floor, or any combination of options that helps to support the strength of your seated position. For those working with abundant body proportions or wanting additional options, check out the amazing @fringeish on Insta for helpful tips on how to more comfortably accommodate the belly, thighs, or booty.
However you choose to sit, some options and general guidelines are:
IF SEATED CROSS-LEGGED, knees should rest below your hips. e.g.: Sit on the edge of a blanket or cushion so that pelvis tilts forward (anterior pelvic tilt). Your “sit bones” (the two bony protuberances at the bottom of the pelvis) should be in contact with your seat, hip points gently tilted forward, tail bone gently extended back. This adjustment can also help lift and open the chest if the spine is rounding and creating tension in the front body.
IF SEATED IN A CHAIR, sit so that feet can be flat on the floor with knees at a 90-degree angle. Support as necessary with blankets, a stool, blocks under feet or seat. Posture is upright with spine long, ideally supported by the strength of your back muscles, not the back of the chair.
IF SEATED ON THE KNEES with hips to heels, kneel on a blanket for padding and sit on a block/bolster/cushion placed under the booty/between the thighs to soften the angle of the knees and ankles.
IF LYING ON THE FLOOR, limbs are long; perhaps consider supporting the lower back with a bolster under the knees or the neck with a rolled blanket.
LENGTHEN THE SPINE by reaching the crown of the head toward the sky. The spine does not need to be “straight” — the spine’s natural curves help to support the body — but make sure shoulders are positioned over your hips, collar bones are wide, heart is open, shoulder blades are gently but firmly pressing down and in (protracting) to strengthen the posture of the back body and assist in the opening of the front body.
HANDS ARE PALMS UP OR PALMS DOWN on the lap or the earth. Palms-up position invites extra receptivity, palms-down position invites extra grounding. You can also try one of each (right palm down + left palm up) or incorporate a specific mudra (hand gesture) for a desired focus.
IT’S OK TO MOVE AND SHIFT during your meditation. Seated meditation doesn’t have to be completely stagnant and still. Like a lump of clay, oftentimes we soften into ourselves during meditation — as we breathe and relax, our chins drop, shoulders droop, spines round, a foot falls asleep. Sometimes we need to recommit muscle to bone, straighten up, recross the legs, shift the hips, circle the ankles, reposition the hands, remove the cushion. Just try to do so with mindful ease, and as little disruption as possible, and settle right back into breath and stillness. Move as necessary. Don't get fidgety.
NOTE: There may be some natural discomfort that comes with sitting, especially if just beginning your practice, but there’s no need to physically suffer through meditation — we don’t want to create more tension when our goal is to release it! The more you sit (especially in combination with any other strengthening self-care), the stronger you will become in body and mind, and the more you will be able to find lengthy moments of physical stillness in meditation. But no matter how much experience you have, it’s all about sensing what your body needs and honoring what it is capable of each time you meet your meditative moment.
Remember:
Support don’t strain. Create the space you need to and the seat that supports you best. Adjust and tend to yourself when needed — shift your bones, adjust your seat, scratch that itch.
Commit don’t criticize. The mind will wander. Not only is that ok, that’s a part of it. But don’t get caught up in judging the thinking. Simply notice it and let it go. Right the ship of consciousness back to the ballast of the breath.
Stay seated. Commit. No matter what, unless you are in distress or need, just keep sitting until that alarm goes off. Just keep breathing. Use the breath to keep you present and focused in your body, in the moment, in the intention.
BREATHING | Cultivating an Equal + Sustainable Breath
Just as important as sitting with comfort and commitment is breathing with consistency and balance. It also takes practice to develop a clear awareness and experience of the breath. The natural balance between inhales/exhales is the inherent yin/yang of our bodies. When we sit and simply breathe in and out, we can feel the pull and push, the up and down, the effort and ease, the entire balance of our being at play. It is this balance of the breath that helps to support the body and focus the mind during meditation. When the body slumps or the mind wanders, focusing on the breath works to bring us right back to ourselves in the moment.
Inhale | Breathing In
Pull the breath into the nose.
Receive the breath with as much natural fullness as you can.
As you inhale, feel your body expanding, inflating and making space to accommodate the breath.
Linger slightly at the top of the breath, noticing the natural pause before the exhale.
Exhale | Breathing Out
Release the breath out of the nose or mouth.
Actively press out the breath: squeeze the pelvic floor, hug the ribcage in, and sink the navel toward the spine.
As you exhale, feel your body contracting, deflating and releasing its shape with the breath.
Linger slightly at the bottom of the breath, noticing the natural pause before the inhale.
MEDITATION PRACTICE | Cleaning House
A short practice designed to visually clear the mind, creating space and stillness to welcome in brightness and clarity.
Set and start a timer for 20 (or your choice of) minutes.
Find a comfortable seat.
Close your eyes or soften your gaze downward.
Cultivate a natural, even, sustainable cycle of breath, breathing in and out of the nose.
Imagine yourself at home, somewhere real or imaginary that feels safe, comfortable, and familiar.
Look around and notice what it looks like and feels like. What room are you in? What furniture do you see? What personal items do you see? What else is in the room? Is there anything hanging on the walls? Are there windows or doors? What’s the quality of light? What does the air smell like, feel like?
Using the magic of your mind, gently but actively work to quiet, clear, and open the space.
Turn off the TV or any music that might be playing.
Stack magazines and organize papers into neat piles. Line books along the shelves. Make the bed. Fluff the couch cushions. Fold blankets, straighten chairs, put away the laundry. Everything is in its place, organized or out of sight in drawers or closets. All surfaces are fresh, tidy, and uncluttered.
Dust all of the surfaces and sweep the floors until your home feels spacious and clean. Use a cloth, your hand, a broom, a magic wand.
Open curtains, windows, doors.
Sweep all the dust and stagnant energy out of the room.
Notice the bright, warm sunlight from outside shining in, and feel the cool, fresh air flowing through. Welcome in the light and the air. Feel the warmth in your hair, the breeze on your skin.
Breathe it in. Receive and release into the moment, into the space, into the here and now.
Feel your body, your being, comfortably present in this room.
Feel light, as if you're floating, buoyed by the quiet, held by the silence.
Become the breath, become the breeze moving through this clean, bright, open space, moving through you, moving softly in and out.
Continue to breathe light and clarity into the mind and body -- inhale, exhale -- breathing in, breathing out, safe and comfortable, at home within yourself.
Remain here, breathing in meditation until your alarm sounds.
AFTER MEDITATING | Re-Orient Yourself to Your Space
Turn off your alarm.
Remain seated with gaze soft.
Take a couple of deep breaths.
Return to the space and the moment.
Moving only the eyes, look around the room—take in everything around you.
Then move the body slowly by welcoming small movements — stretch, flex, reach, stand.
Carry on with your day like the BADASS BEING you are!
